Parenting Today's Adolescent # 2 - Chp. 2

The Raineys write that, if parents are going to guide there children safely through adolescence, they need to know there are certain attitudes and behaviors that seem to appear during the preteen and teen years. If you know what zone, or time span, your child is going through you can be prepared to handle the needs of your child and "maintain your own equilibrium as a mom and dad."

• The Innocence Zone (Age 10-12) - The child is not yet experiencing the confusing hormonal signals and are more open to listening to parents. Parents should build a strong relationship with the child and begin to shape the child's convictions before adolescence kicks in.
• The Danger Zone (Age 13-16) - This is the time that most parents lose their connection with their child. You don't really know till later. Don't assume your teen has relationships with people who have the same values. Teens begin to test things that are harmful. Choosing the wrong path is a slow process not just a big or major event. The wise parents recognizes the danger zone and are careful not to give the child too much freedom too soon. Don't quit. Persevere....
• The Release Zone (Age 17-19) - An increase in privileges is a reward for mature, trustworthy, and faithful behavior by the teen. Failure will naturally occur from time to time. Goal is to release the child into adulthood, slowly, so by the last semester in high school he is free from many restrictions of his earlier years. As they make mistakes you are still there to coach, encourage, and correct. "Releasing the child does not mean you stop being protector, provider, and parent." The exception would be the child that has not proven himself trustworthy.

I, Royal, have found the main problem parents have during their child's teen years is being either clueless or in denial about what is happening in their child's world. Be involved in your kids. I don't mean just being a soccer mom or a baseball coach. They will naturally reject your involvement. Do not accept no for an answer....

Listen, listen, listen, talk a little, listen and be very involved in their lives.

Helping you to be cluefull,

Royal